PS I love you
by fizii
Summary: One-Shot about Paul and Suze, this is my first story so I'd appretiate a little advice as to whether I should stick to poetry or not! :D  R&R? Please? :D


P.S. I love you

US History. I mean, who cares about it? It's so _boring_! Oh, and the teacher literally sends me to sleep. So I usually resign myself to staring out the window, like I am now, and daydreaming…

I followed a leaf that had just blown off the tree outside the window as it flew towards the sky and over the top of the building. A pang of jealousy for the little leaf filled me; it must be nice to be able to just… _go. _To be able to fly away and never look back, leaving all the things that made your life difficult. *cough* Mediation, Jesse, Paul. *cough* I mean, what really bugged me was the fact that Paul was right. _Always. _I knew I had no future with Jesse for God's sakes!

But I still couldn't let go… I don't know… I just can't!

I caught CeeCee's gaze, 'What?' I mouthed.

'Pay attention!' She whispered back

I smirked and rolled my eyes at her, I admired that girl, I really did. Although in my opinion, anyone who could pay attention in US History without falling asleep deserved respect.

The exception, however, sat behind me. Looking hotter than should actually be legal today with his Faded Levi's and a Polo shirt, I felt his eyes burning into the back of my head. I deliberately tossed my hair without looking at him, as I expected I heard his exasperated sigh. Score!

What? If ignoring Paul Slater was a subject, then me and Cee would be just about the only girls in the mission who would pass… I've developed a bit of a technique; well if he stalked you you'd have one too, right?

Well maybe not, but the problem is that it always seems to fail me when he kisses me. Trust me. He _is _the world's best kisser, and I think my opinion is pretty valid… I mean… I've kissed _Jesse!_ So, yeah, trust me, you'd fall to bits too if he put his lips on yours and did what he's best at.

'Simon!'

Oh. God. 'Go _away, _Paul!' I hissed back, I did _not _want another mid-class chat. The last one got me in detention. Apparently, Kicking the Tennis Captain in class is nothing to be proud of in JSMA. He deserved it.

'Your bag!'

'Huh?' What was wrong with it? It was Prada? Granted, it was last seasons but I didn't think he'd know that… Oooh! A note! I pulled it out.

**Suze,**

**We've got Shifting lessons today, don't forget.**

**Paul**

Like I could forget. He'd been going on about it since the last one, but I still scribbled back and chucked it at him.

**Paul, **

**Like you'd let me. In your living room and don't even think of trying anything.**

I heard him chuckle and moodily glared at my pencil case as the teacher, oblivious, droned on.

**Suze,**

**Come on, Suze. When are you going to admit it? **

Rolling my eyes I wrote back and exchanged sceptical looks with CeeCee who was reading over my shoulder.

**Paul,**

**There's nothing to admit.**

I mean, there wasn't… was there? He kissed me. I kissed him back. End of story. Except it wasn't and I knew it. When he kissed me I felt something… I don't know… _Different _from when Jesse kissed me. Something stronger, more powerful, less safe but _so, so_ tempting. Do you know what was worst about this, though?

Paul knew.

Simple as that really, he knew exactly how I felt. He always did. It was like he could read my mind or something; he could tune into my feelings and know exactly how I was feeling and why.

Something Jesse failed at.

It wasn't Jesse's fault. He loved me, I was sure of that. And I loved him, I was pretty sure of that…

_DAMMIT SIMON! _ Pretty sure? I mean, _pretty_ sure?

Absentmindedly I started to unfold the note Paul had given back to me.

What was it about Paul that affected me so much?

How did he know me so well when the guy who loved me- well- didn't?

When was I finally going to give up on having a relationship with a guy who'd been dead for 500 years?

Most importantly though, why should I? Why should I give up on Jesse? Why should I let Paul have his way? He probably wouldn't even hang around…

Yeah. That was the type of guy Paul was. Get what he wanted then go.

**Suze, **

**Sure, Suze. That's why you're worrying all the time. That's why you kiss me back. Admit it., you fell for me. What're you scared of?**

What was I scared of? I was scared of trusting him, and then finding out it was all a lie. Trusting him and then watching him leave me.

_God, _I sound insecure.

But it's true. I _knew _Jesse will stick with me until he has no choice… With Paul, I didn't know that. I couldn't be sure he really cared.

**Paul,**

**Shut up. You don't scare me. I have Jesse, what more could I want? **

I threw the note back at him and glared at the whiteboard. That was until, of course, Paul decided to run his finger down the exposed back of my tank top.

I froze.

Seriously, this is how much this guy affected me.

'Suzie, you could have so much more…' The whisper was so soft only I could hear it. Nobody else had noticed anything.

'No, Paul.' I tried to move but by muscles seemed to be on strike.

'Yes, Suze. You could. Believe me. Try living in the physical world rather than the spiritual one for once, let me show you how much more there is…'

I was shaking. I couldn't help it. His fingers on my back were tracing intricate patterns, making it hard for me to breathe…

Desperate for a distraction I glanced at CeeCee who was busy carving A.M. into the desk with her compass before surrounding it with a heart as she gazed at the back of Adam's head.

Why couldn't I be that happy? Was it so wrong for me to want a boyfriend that everyone could _see? _Who could take me places?

The bell rang for break.

Paul's hand stopped momentarily and then continued as everyone else packed up and made a dash for the door.

'_Stay there, Suze.' _

I was reaching for my stuff when the whispered command hit my ears. Now, normally I would have ignored him or punched him, buuut he still had his fingers on my back.

I was paralysed. I swear it. I couldn't move a muscle.

I started packing up my stuff slowly.

'Suze, babe, you ready?' Adam was about to leave with CeeCee when they looked back

I _still _had fingers on my back.

'I'll catch up, I've got to meet Father Dom.' They seemed to buy it because a moment later it was just me and Paul in the classroom…

Damn.

'So, Suzie, you're not going to try and get out of our little lesson today, are you?' Paul stood up and sat on the desk I was still sitting at.

'You _know_ I won't.' The smirk on his lips widened into a grin. 'For Jesse's sake of course' I quickly added, cause he so didn't need more reasons to try and get his tongue into my mouth, you know.

I stood up, grabbed my prada bag and made to leave the room when Paul cornered me by a desk.

'Suze, I'm not done yet. Don't you want me to finish?'

'Not really.' I grunted in response as he took a step closer to me.

'Well, I do.' His hand wrapped itself around my chin and lifted my face to look at him. 'There, is it really so hard to look at me, Suze?'

Erm, no? I think I have already made it clear, Paul Slater is not hard to look at, not at all. The problem is looking away.

His eyes…

So blue…

'N-no' Damn. Just the time to let me down, voice, really.

'Good. Now as I was saying…' He stopped.

Huh? What was he going to say? He was just staring at me… With those big blue eyes…

_What? _I was _not _staring back. So stop looking at me like I was.

_Cause I wasn't._

God. I'm such a bad liar.

'Wow.'

Wow? Was that to me? If so, was it a compliment? Urgh, this guy confuses me.

'Suze, you're so damn beautiful.'

I blinked.

Erm, wow?

'Paul, is that all? Cause Cee and Adam will be waiting…' Of course I couldn't move till he did, being in front of me and all.

His hand stroked my cheek gently as he brought his face closer to mine.

'No, Suze. I was worried about you. You didn't seem yourself today…'

Oh, God. B-b-but how? _How could he know? _

'I don't know what you're talking about, Paul, so move.'

I did _not _want to bring up Jesse in front of Paul. Let alone let Paul know we'd had a huge argument the night before…

'Suzie, Suzie, Suzie, what am I going to do with you? What did Jesse do this time?'

As I said, Paul had this… I don't know… _Ability? _ Was that the right word to describe it? He knew exactly what I was thinking and why. He could read my emotions so easily that, quite frankly, it scared me.

'He did _nothing._' I emphasised each word and when Paul continued to look sceptical I sighed.

What was with this guy?

'We had an argument yesterday, but as I said, _it was nothing._'

'About?'

I recalled the raised voices filled with hateful words and shuddered. Father D had had to come and intervene…

We'd never argued _that much _before.

'Nothing really.' I admitted hoping he would move if I told him the truth, you see I've noticed it doesn't pay to lie to Paul. He always finds out anyway. 'I…I just got mad, the way he was treating me that day bugged me, you know?'

'And?'

Suddenly it all spilled out of me like I was reliving the whole dreadful experience.

'He was j-just being really distant, when I asked him what was up he s-said it was none of my concern as everyone had so far failed to help him m-move on. I had no clue he wanted it so badly! So we argued and then he found out about the shifting lessons and said h-he c-couldn't trust me a-a-anymore' I was crying by this point, tears falling helplessly down my face.

'S-so Father Dom came and broke it up and called me in to talk to him a-alone. H-he was never happy about me and Jesse a-anyway; he said that he and Jesse had found what was holding Jesse b-back… It was something to do with his family I think… A-a-and that Jesse had to move on a-a-and that I was just, just making everything _harder _for him'

'_God._'

Paul sat down and pulled me into his lap as I cried, I hugged him hard as my tears fell down my face.

I felt bad. After all this _was_ the guy Jesse hated, but Paul didn't hate me. He never had, that I knew of.

As Father Dom had said when he had been talking to me the night before, "you can't hold yourself back because of Jesse, Susannah. Or Jesse will never enter heaven like he was meant to."

Jesse couldn't move on until I told him to go. The gentleman inside him wouldn't allow it.

I _had _to move on.

'You've got to let him move on, Suze. You can't keep him here forever.' Paul's voice cut through my internal babble.

'_Why?_'' I asked, my voice full of venom

'If you really care for him, then you have to let him go, Suze. Even if he stayed-' Paul turned my face to look at him as I tried to look away.

'Look at me, Suze. Even if he stayed, there's no denying he's probably a great guy, alright? But is he the right guy for _you? _He's a nineteenth century gentleman, who doesn't want you to push your abilities. Why? Cause he doesn't _understand _them.'

'Oh, and I'm meant to go tell him to leave and give in to you, just because you understand?' I spat at him.

'Jesse's scared of what he doesn't understand, Suze. That's part of who he is. _You're _not. You _don't _get scared easily, Suze. You aren't as simple as Jesse is.'

I sat. Shocked into silence.

It was true. As much as I hated it. It was true.

Jesse had always tried to hold me back where shifting was concerned and only let me use mediation techniques which were approved by Father Dominic.

I nodded very slowly and got up off his lap.

Paul stood up and kissed my forehead gently before moving down to my lips. You can't blame me for kissing him back… Paul _was_ an amazing kisser.

'Come on.' Paul put his arm around my waist 'Let's go.'

The rest of the day passed in a whirlwind of smiles and tears and Paul Slater, the guy who I thought was trying to ruin my whole life, was there for me all the way.

…

English Lit. Yawwwn. The only bonus today was the guy sitting next to me, the guy who had stuck by me all through the day.

And I think it's safe to say it wasn't a good day.

Lemme see…

I broke into tears in front of the guy I hate.

I lashed out at Dopey cause… well… He was being Dopey?

I almost collapsed in the principal's office when Paul decided the Father Dom had to know what was going on after me and Jesse's little argument.

I broke up with the once love of my life (Jesse) and had to see him almost kill the guy I used to hate (Paul).

So here I am sitting in English Lit, and it has to be one of the few times today I _wasn't _crying my eyes out. (which I had done in pretty much all the classes leading up to and after mine and Jesse's break up)

'You ok?' Paul whispered from next to me.

'Yeah' I turned and smiled at him- WHAT? Yeah I came to school hating the guy but he had been helping me all day and, after all, there's a _very _thin line between hate and love.

'I'll be ok'

Paul just grinned at me and then turned to pay attention to the nun teaching our lesson.

**Paul, **

**Thanks for today, you've been great. I don't know how I would've got through everything without you. **

**Suze**

I pressed the note into his hand and watched as he read it. He grinned and kissed me lightly on the cheek when our teacher turned away.

'No problem, Suze. It's only cause I love you though… Do you actually believe me this time?'

I grinned, he _had _told me before. But, let's be honest, he is a hell of a good liar.

I reached over for the note again and wrote at the bottom.

**P.S. I love you x**

When he read the note this time, however, he seemed to forget we were in class and kissed me passionately on the lips…

I don't think either of us had a problem when we were sent out of the class room, though.


End file.
